Random thoughts while planning a vacation:
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Life as a 911 emergency dispatcher can be hectic, to say the least. They field calls from people who have been in accidents, are in dire need of medical assistance, have just been the victim of a violent crime or are having trouble with their math homework.
Yes, math homework.
The Associated Press reported out of Lafeyette, Ind. that an emergency dispatcher came to the rescue when a boy called 911 seeking help with his homework. To make a long story short, the dispatcher helped the boy solve a problem he had with fractions, after which he thanked her and apologized for calling 911.
I’ve never called 911, at least not intentionally. My supposedly high-tech smart phone has taken it upon itself to dial the emergency number at times, but that’s a sad tale and I really don’t want to go into that again. Suffice to say, I have been fortunate enough in my life not to have to call dispatchers with an honest-to-God emergency.
That’s not to say I wouldn’t have been tempted to seek emergency help with my math homework.
My history as a school student was a bit mixed. I never qualified for the National Honor Society, but I wasn’t ever in danger of being labeled a juvenile delinquent, either. In fact, there were several school subjects I loved, including history, English and chemistry.
Then there was math.
It didn’t make any difference which math subject I took. From simple addition and subtraction all the way up to algebra and geometry, every math class was a struggle. And forget subjects like trigonometry and calculus. Once I discovered I didn’t need them to graduate, I didn’t even bother trying my hand at them.
I really don’t know why math subjects were such a slog for me. I’m reasonably intelligent (quit laughing), I can add and subtract with the best of them and, if all else fails, I know my way around a calculator. As for balancing my checkbook, well, nobody’s perfect.
Maybe it’s because math never struck me as a “fun” subject. History was fun, because I learned about great people and events from our past. English was fun, because I’ve always loved to write, even if I wasn’t doing it for publication. And chemistry was fun, as long as I didn’t blow up anything.
But math was never fun. Math was work. Math was a necessary evil that stood between me and my diploma.
I enjoyed English. I endured math.
I always secretly envied my friends who became accountants. It was as if they had found the secret key to unlocking the mysteries of math and, as a reward, they enjoy careers that are financially rewarding.
Me? I learned “i before e, except after c” and how to avoid dangling participles.
Don’t get me wrong: I love being a writer. And, to be honest, I wouldn’t trade places with any of my math-savvy friends. I might want to trade paychecks every now and then, but that’s another story.
The nice thing about my struggles with math is the knowledge that I use all that stuff, sometimes without knowing it, in my everyday life. You’d be surprised how many simple problems in life can be reduced to simple algebraic equations. Things like estimating my grocery bill can be solved using all those old x + y formulas I learned in high school.
So, thanks, math. I hated you, but you have made my life a little bit easier.
Now, if someone can just tell me what possible good that Latin class did for me.
Steve Reagan is a staff writer at the Snyder Daily News. Comments about his column may be emailed to news@snyderdailynews.com.