When you are down, there is nothing like a few good Boudreaux jokes to lift you up:
There was this Hell’s Angel riding down the road on his motorcycle last winter. He was wearing a leather jacket that had a broken zipper. He finally stopped the bike and thought to himself, “Man, I can’t drive anymore with the cold air hitting me in my chest.”
So he decided to put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting him. He continued driving and came around a bend in the road, lost control and wrecked, coincidentally, right in front of Boudreaux’s house. Boudreaux happened to see what happened and called the state police to report the accident.
The trooper on the phone asked him, “Is the guy showing any sign of life?”
“Well,” Boudreaux told him, “he was until I turned his head around the right way.”
**
Boudreaux and Marie were having their first fight, and it was a big one. After a while, Boudreaux said “When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey.”
Marie replied, “I know. But I didn’t want to start an argument in front of all dem people at the wedding.”
**
Boudreaux was called into his bank to discuss his accounts.
“Your finances are in terrible shape,” the banker said. “Your checking account is way overdrawn and your loans are overdue.”
“Yeh, I know.” Boudreaux said. “It’s my wife, Marie. She’s out of control.”
The banker asked Boudreaux, “Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than you have?”
“Mais, to tell de truth, Mr. Banker,” replied Boudreaux with a deep sigh, “because I’d rather argue wid you than wid her.”
**
Boudreaux was going to Catahoula to visit Thibodeaux. He was on I-10 driving his pickup truck below the speed limit. A Louisiana state trooper pulled him over.
The trooper asked, “Got any ID?”
Boudreaux replied, “Bout whut?”
**
The sheriff pulled up next to Boudreaux, who was unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head.”
“Yep,” he replied. “That’s why I’m dumpin’ it here, ‘cause it says, ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage.’”
**
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went all the way to Africa to do some elephant hunting. They had to return home on the first day. They both got hurt carrying the decoys.
**
When Boudreaux got home yesterday, Clotile ran out to him saying, “The car got water in the carburetor!”
“How you know that, you?”
“Cause it’s parked in the bayou!”
**
One day Boudreaux saw Thibodeaux and asked him why he was so bruised up. Thibodeaux replied that he had been riding a bull, and his foot got stuck when he fell off. The bull kept dragging him around until the Walmart manager came and unplugged it.
Ben Barkley is the managing editor of the Snyder Daily News. He has covered news and sports for more than 20 years in Louisiana and Texas. Comments about his column can be emailed to barkley@snyderdailynews.com.