This past Sunday was notable for me and 10 percent of the world’s population — it was International Left-Handers Day.
Being left-handed has always been a source of pride for me, although a lot of people ask me, “You’re left-handed?” in the same tone of voice they usually reserve for, “You’re a communist?” or, “How long is that leg going to be in a cast?”
It’s not easy being a lefty in a right-handed world. Many common tools and household items are designed for right-handers, forcing southpaws to either adapt or spend extra money to buy items designed for us.
The workplace is also designed for righties. Take my desk, for instance: My desk sits to the right of my computer, but if I turn my chair to the left, I can and often do bang my knees on a small bookshelf. I’d complain, but I think my editor gets a charge out of my misery.
Fortunately, my new colleague Shelby is also a lefty, meaning there’s a 50-50 split in the newsroom, which is better odds than us southpaws get anywhere else.
There have been some rotten misconceptions of lefties over the ages. Long ago, for instance, being left-handed was associated with being possessed by the devil, which I can honestly say is so much rot. If I’m possessed by anything, it’s a desire to sleep in. I’m not evil, I’m just tired.
Actually, there is a disturbing fact about left-handers — a recent study found that 40 percent of people diagnosed with psychotic ailments preferred to write with their left hand. My friends reading this column just said in unison, “See? I told you!”
No one really knows why people are left-handed. There’s the common suspects such as genetics and environment — my Mom was a lefty, so maybe there’s something to that — but no true root cause has been found. My personal theory is that God only had so much charm, wit and grace to pass out to newborns, so he made the do-withouts right-handed.
I found a few interesting facts about left-handers on wxyz.com. For instance did you know:
• Left-handers adjust more readily to seeing underwater? Note I said these were interesting facts, not useful facts.
• Many left-handers draw figures facing to the right. Again, not useful, but interesting.
• Four of the original five designers of the Macintosh computer were left-handed. This would seem to indicate that us southpaws have an aptitude for computers, but doesn’t explain why I have trouble finding the “on” button.
• Left-handers excel in tennis, baseball, swimming, boxing and fencing. Well, I like to watch baseball — does that count?
• One-in-four Apollo astronauts were left-handed, which is 250 percent higher than normal levels of left-handedness. It also meant those brave men probably had to listen to 250 percent more bad jokes about left-handers than normal and had to resist the urge to punch their right-handed colleagues about 250 percent more than the rest of us.
Famous left-handers include Albert Einstein, Cary Grant, Tom Cruise, Yogi Berra, “Shoeless” Joe Jackson, Judy Garland and Henry Ford. Of course, Ford was an anti-Semite, Garland had a string of unsuccessful marriages before dying young of a drug overdose, Jackson was kicked out of baseball for fixing the 1919 World Series, Berra was infamous for his malapropisms and Cruise is just weird.
And I guess mentioning that former presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton are both southpaws isn’t a great source of pride in red state Texas.
But, hey — Albert Einstein and Cary Grant!
And who can forget left-hander Neil Armstrong, who on becoming the first man to walk on the moon uttered the famous words, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for southpaws?”
Or left-hander Paul McCartney, who wrote the great Beatles tune, “Left it Be?”
I could go on, but I can practically hear you groaning.
So, to my fellow lefties, I send a belated Happy Left-Handers Day greeting. Though we be few, we be mighty.
All you right-handers can stop snickering right now.
Steve Reagan is a staff writer at the Snyder Daily News. Comments about his column may be emailed to news@snyderdailynews.com.